the flow

So, I have so much creative energy right now. So many ideas bopping around in my head. Projects I want to start laid out on my library table, projects I want to do with my littles coming together too. I love when I feel this way. But I hate it too. For some reason, when I have all of these creative juices flowing I go inward and I have trouble staying in the moment and being attentive to now. Leslie's daydreaming can be maddening but I defininately know where she gets it from . . .

happiness

my happy list . . . as of jan.10 at 9am

sleeping in
hot tea
staying up late to watch an old movie with Les
finding a really cute top that I wanted at full price on sale for $4.99!
new yummy bath products that smell so good I can't wait to use them
some ideas brewing for a new project
managing to keep the headache at bay
all of my photos uploaded and on their way to me in the mail
strawberries being in season in jan (how crazy is that?)
char coming tonight for a sleep-over
the farmer's market being open today
leslie and I having such good, open talks
my new pale pink teapot from jen
the amazing weather we are having right this minute
all of leslie's photos from kelle hampton sitting on my craft table waiting for me to . . .

and my not so happy list (sorry, i really do try to keep it upbeat but honestly you have to take a little yuck with the good)

these crazy headaches i seem to be getting more frequently
feeling my actual age these days
my muffin top and my apparent inability to will it away
having to color my hair and not just doing it for fun
leslie contacting/being contacted by marina

okay, at least my happy is much longer than my not so happy . . . that's something anyway

Back to it . . .

Okay, the holiday is officially over. Back to work and school tomorrow. I can honestly say that my batteries are fully recharged. It was so nice to just be at home. But also nice to take some neat little short little trips not too far from home -orlando-boca-ona-boca again-key west. Today, to celebrate our last day of doing whatever we want, Leslie and I got hair-cuts at Aveda. What a nice treat. And it feels great to have new hair for a fresh start . . . Can't wait to see all my little people in the morning!

My big little person fell last night and gave us quite a scare. I guess playing with apps. and walking down the stairs don't go together. Somehow she ended up face first in the back of the wooden settle. A huge goose egg on her noggin, a sore jaw, and an enormous bruise on her arm to show for it . . . I kept checking her in the night to make sure she didn't have a concussion. Please stay safe and be careful, sweet girl.

goodbye . . . hello

goodbye 2008
goodbye indecision
goodbye lack of confidence
goodbye fear
goodbye inertia

hello 2009
hello new starts
hello finally losing that 5 pounds i've been talkin about forever
hello letting go of the stuff that doesn't matter
hello getting healthy
hello standing up for myself
hello feeling good about 45
hello . . .

new songs

leslie just gave me a very nice pre-Christmas gift . . . 54 songs downloaded to my i-pod!!! yeah! new music! actually, i think she has 4oo or so songs but only 54 were "mommy's music". i've been missing xm since they merged with sirius but i'm getting used to some of the new stations. i'm loving the new killers cd. also downloaded that cute song 'colors' from the dell commercial.

so, haven't really accomplished ANYTHING yet during this 17 day long break. but i still have time, right? i have lots of movies i want to watch and a few books to read and some organizing of scrapbook stuff and cleaning out leslie's bookshelf for donations and filing all the important papers before tax season rolls around (wasn't it just here?!) and maybe i will even work on an album or two . . . oh yeah, i want to make a new address book, too. while i was filling out christmas cards i realized that i have a lot of cross outs and old info in my address book - i need a clean slate i think.

okay, my thankful list for today (in no particular order) -
sleeping in
lunch with leslie at our favorite tea house
bret's yummy baklava for dessert
hot cider in the crock pot
empty laundry baskets
a fairly clean house
the smell of pine from the new soap in the kitchen
talking to sal on the phone this morning
my new songs

5 things to be thankful for . . .

thankful for a relaxing and fun weekend in Orlando w/ b and l and lori's bunch

thankful for a husband that always tries to make me smile

thankful for a daughter that still has fun with her parents

thankful for having my lessons plans already finished and handed in

thankful for my own soft bed tonight

oh, and one more:

thankful for a yummy new book that les shared with me and I'm going to finish tonight

things to tell my teenager

Okay, here's the thing. It is really strange having a teenager when I often feel like one myself. I still remember exactly how I felt when I was 14. In some basic ways I haven't changed at all. Now, here's the other thing. My kid is so much like me and nothing like me at the same time. How to give her advice for navigating the world right now?

First: Take chances. Don't be stupid about taking risks that can damage you but don't be afraid to try new things, go new places, talk to new people.

2nd: Try to stay true to who you really are. Don't let other people try to tell you who they think you should be. This is hard. Really hard. But so worth it. Sometimes you'll forget, but don't worry. Just try again tomorrow.

3rd: One thing I've always tried to do with you is this: When I make a mistake and realize it, I own up to it and apologize. We are human. We are not perfect. That's okay. But if you hurt someone, say you're sorry and really mean it. Then start over. The other side to this is forgiveness. Let go of being angry at someone if you can. It's really poison to you and not productive at all.

4th: Number 3 doesn't mean that you should let people take advantage of you or that you shouldn't stand up for yourself. Don't ever do something that you aren't comfortable with. Don't ever take abuse (physical or verbal) from anyone. You are strong and you have a really good sense of yourself. Believe in that and don't let anyone diminish it. I also know that you are really a nice person and you don't want to hurt anyone. Just don't let someone hurt you because you are afraid of hurting them.

I love you and I want the world for you. I am so excited for the way the world is opening for you. Go out into it and have a great time.